The Separation

Jeez I dont know how much more I can take. I don't know how I'm still going on without killing. I'm so close to the edge I can taste it. Smell the adrenaline rushing through me. My body shaking. Can't they see how much pain I'm in? You want to anger me?

No, I suppose the world doesn't reveolve around me.

No one's deliberately trying to piss me the fuck off to the point where my brain fucking explodes.

But I can feel it in my core; such anger and hate.

How can I live like this? How can I possibley go on without bursting?

I hope I hold up, until I find some sort of relief. I hope I turn out okay.

Lately it feels like everything I do in life just leads my brain back to thinking about my parents. About what went down. About the things I want to just forget, and move on from. But how can you move on from something that's happening RIGHT NOW?!

I can't escape it, it's all around me, and I can't breathe,

I'm suffocating under all this pressure, I'm going mad.

I can't count how many times I've let my entire day be disrupted by thoughts of home life, and I know I could be positive if I tried REALLY hard...

but so much energy...so much energy I don't really have inside me left...is what I need to stay positive.

I just don't think I can do it. I'll have to wade this through...