Safety of Certain Things

I think I never would have screamed your name, if I would have known what it would have brought with it in that silent, creamy star-filled night. I tip my head back on your pillow, hugging your waist tight, I bite my lip and let the glass filled room slowly shatter into pieces and hit our cold, naked bodies.  I could feel the shards in my skin, and it hurt more than I could have ever fathomed...Yet, your pleasant smile told me you felt something different, something pleasurable and awful at the same time. Something you shield your children from in the dark, echoing night.
The sweet morning rain hit my face and I instantly felt the chilling air fill my lungs and tell me what was to come of this darkened pre-dawn. Chills ran through my veins and danced around in my blood, turning everything to ice. I could see in the reflection of a raindrop that passed by my eye the total horrification that melted over my complexion. I knew there would be no leaving, no “I had a great time, see you tomorrow”, there would be no escape from the rigid grip of his fixated jaws, clenching down on my tender innocence, sinking deeply into my glimmering skin, slowing draining all security within me. And I was no longer my own, and I had no decisions. And I wish I was able to contact my sisters, and my friends, and almost warn them…you’re not safe. And they may reply, “from what?” and I would cut open my brain and let the memories pour into their eyes so they could see how I could possibly make such a foolish decision.
Instead I whisper “I lost my virginity.”